you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
false alarm. still invincible.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
