Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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