dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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