so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
