god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
