I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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