the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
