okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
