For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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