I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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