If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
