That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
