Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
