I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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