no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
