great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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