awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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