at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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