I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
