How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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