pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize