hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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