her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
