I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
