Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
