"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize