so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
