I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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