her vagine was all disorganized.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
