in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
