so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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