they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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