So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
