I got chris browned last night
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
