omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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