apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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