I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
