I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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