I want to stick my p in your. b.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize