I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
