Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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