you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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