so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
