I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
handjob tips. give me some.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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