dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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