1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think my tv is drunk
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
