you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You may now shotgun with the bride
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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