Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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