In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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