I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
