just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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