nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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