Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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