i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
smell my finger.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
