You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
