I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize