D3 body, D1 cock
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
