I want to make a zoo with you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize