dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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