I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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