You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
worst night to have a conscience
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
