I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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