Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
