he wants to bone in the snuggie
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
