There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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