I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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