We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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