You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
