obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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