One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
